Rooster Teeth Animated Adventures – Double Derps

Rooster Teeth Animated Adventures – Double Derps


We gotta talk about what happened to us at fuckin’ Double Dave’s last week. There was a man and a woman in front of us in line, I had no… initial idea that they were gonna turn out to be *the* two most retarded people on the planet. The lady’s like: “We heard about this thing… it’s called a ‘strom-bowl-ee’ … Is that something that you guys sell?” And the lady’s like: “Yeah we have some strombolis” And [retarded lady]’s like “What IS that?” and [waitress] is trying to explain it to her, She’s like: “I just don’t understand” and the guy’s like: “Yeahhh… is it like a calzone? And what’s a calzone?” and [waitress] is going through this explanation, and the people are just like “I just don’t get it, I don’t know, is it good? Can we see it?” And the lady’s like: “… I guess…” So she walks them over to the buffet, and there’s, like, pointing out stromboli… Gus: Yeah, there’s a stromboli and there’s a calzone Geoff: And the people just look fuckin’ befuddled Like their entire world got turned upside down because someone mentioned the word ‘stromboli’ to ’em So then, they walk away, and I’m like “Thank fuckin’ Christ”, we get our pizza and we walk over to the soda machine, and they have this new-fangled soda machine…
Gus: It’s a touch screen Geoff: Couldn’t be simpler, my five-year-old could do it They stopped at that soda machine, I saw jaws I saw jaws hit the I saw jaws hit the ground They looked *scared*, and they’re, like, scratching their heads, and they’re, like, “What is this, I don’t understand, where do I put the cup?” and they’re *really* confused, and then I turn around, and I’m talkin’ to Gus and Griffon, and when we turned back around they were just walking out the front door They had to leave and go to therapy. I will say, it’s gotta be awesome to be that stupid! Because every time you leave your house it’s a whole new world! “*Gasps* A soda machine? This is gonna occupy me for the next six hours! This is fantastic! And I’m fuckin’ retarded, so I’m gonna forget about it tonight and then tomorrow it’s gonna be a whole new adventure again!”

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  1. I figured out that soda machine in a matter of seconds after looking at it and thinking "…uh what?" i was excited, because after figuring out the different flavors they had – i was like, "OOOOooooo"

  2. I'm gonna go on a limb and say that it took my brother and I about 3 minutes to figure out how to work that very same type of soda machine, even though we knew what it was from watching THIS!! We figured it out by watching an 8-year old do it.

  3. I sometimes envy people like that. No one ever has any expectations for them. So anything they accomplish is magnified.

  4. there should be a random button on those machines. I never know what to pick theres so many god damn flavors

  5. Okay I was laughing through out this entire thing especially when he said, It's gotta be amazing to be that stupid, bc it just reminded me of Caboose

  6. after i saw that type of soda fountain in real life. I just stoped and stared at it for like 10 seconds, but I immediately know how to work it. THAT THING IS FREAKEN MAGIC!!

  7. I don't know if I even know the difference between a stromboli and a calzone anymore. o.o We make things at work that we call strombolis, but they look like their calzone… My life is a lie.

  8. So our subway got a new soda machine, and so context, i live in this small province, an island, that was the last place in my country to get fibreop, which isnt that good, generally the last place to get anything cool. Anyways the subway had a touchscreen soda machine one day, like seriously two days after I went there, went back and new soda machine. I have never been so excited over a soda machine. And you can infuse flavours, so like cherry Dr.Pepper or Vanilla Pepsi. It blew my mind. It was really easy to use, but seeing it made me think of this.

  9. This reminds me of the time I was grocery shopping, and I was by the bacon, and this lady says "Why is bacon so expensive, it's just pigs and they ugly so no one cares if they die."It took every ounce of energy I had to not laugh in her face

  10. To be fair, the initial shock of a new soda machine can momentarily stun someone out of a mixture of joy and surprise. It shouldn't take more than a second to figure out everything besides the menu system (which depends on your experience, maybe it resembles 15 drastically different menu systems or maybe you never used any menu other than pokemon.) Witch is easy if you try it out with a general soda in mind. Only other excuse is massive brain fart from surprise.

  11. I call them time wasters. It happens a lot at my retail job. They come in ask you a whole bunch of questions(sometimes very specific questions) about an item then leave without buying anything.

  12. Mannn, you wait tables and you are intimately and frustratingly aware of these people. Whichever is the simplest item on the menu (and is fully described via the printed description), they will point to and ask you a million questions about. And they will not understand your explanation, however simplistic it might be. And you will want to rip your hair out because you have four other tables you need to get to–all of whom probably have a basic grasp of the way in which restaurants operate–and you can do absolutely nothing about it but be even more polite and cordial…

  13. Runner up for two people being the most retarded people on the planet: Gavin Free. Gavin is 2 people in 1 guy confirmed.

  14. when I first ran into those touch screen soda machines, I thought I was doing something wrong. I was selecting what I wanted, and all that. the guy ahead of me did every thing right, and and got his soda and walked off. So I am selecting drink after drink after drink, nothing is working. TURNS OUT that kid got the last ounce of soda from that thing, and they had to replace ALL the empties from it. And hint hint ALL of them were empty.

  15. I wouldn't be complaining about the couple because they may have had a disability or they where in accident that caused a lot of memory lost. For all you know you just insulted someone disabled so 👎.

  16. Whoever animated this doesn't know how to use the machine either because when Geoff went to use the soda machine at the end he hit the lever to dispense the ice and not the button to dispense the soda

  17. Even more sad about these touchscreen soda machines is that the screen also provides instructions on how to get your drink. So there's no real excuse anymore of their ignorance for that.

  18. I've played CoD online, I've seen fanboy comments on Death Battle videos, and never in my life have I heard of people this stupid

  19. To be fair, those soda machines can be a little confusing if one has never encountered one. But everyone knows what a calzone is, (A pizza folded in half). Stromboli, it sounds weird, but it basically a pizza rolled up into a roll!!!! How did those idiots not put 2+2= common sense, and figure that out!?!?!?! WTF!!!!!!!!?

  20. Man, anywhere with those fancy soda machines, just sit down and watch as every other person stares at it for way too long and then sort of hovers their finger for a while before pressing so damn hard the whole screen bends. While their four-year-old puts it in youtube using their iPhone.

  21. I saw this happen recently! I was at the theater to see The Disaster Artist and there were two ladies, I'm guessing one was in her late 30's, early 40's and the other in her late 50's who took, no joke, three minutes to figure out the god damn soda machine! And the younger one turned to the older lady and said "I just can't figure out this new technology."

    You follow the logos and push the big button. How is that hard to figure out?! My mid 60 year old grandma figured it out right away!

    I missed the first few minutes of the movie!

  22. That happened to me and Im a millionaire investor and former harvard intern. Foreigners can get confused by those machines when they see them for the first time

  23. You'd be surprised how many people have a similar reaction whenever we get a new item at Taco Bell. They should have some sort of commercial or something that says what it is so I don't have to explain it to everyone for the entire first week.

  24. I hate those touch-screen soda machines. They all use funky resistive touch screens that nobody bothered to calibrate, and I swear the firmware spends a full minute second-guessing itself on whether I pushed the button for Coke, or if I was just petting it.

  25. the first time i saw a touch screen soda machine was when i went to see Jurassic world fallen kingdom and it was at wendy's

  26. I can say those soda machines would keep me occupied for a while.. Not because the machine but because I wanna try all the flavors

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